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Choosing your wedding size and creating a wedding guest list with or without a template (like this) can be one of the most challenging parts of planning. There are so many factors to consider, including your vision, families’ expectations, and your friends’ feelings. You may feel like you have to please everyone, but the truth is, that’s impossible! After you’ve done all the priority items on your checklist, it’s time to think about narrowing your wedding guest list.
Unless you are dealing with an unlimited budget, everyone has to cut down their guest list eventually. Here are some tips for how that can be achieved:
Focus on a venue that fits your vision and budget
Selecting a venue and deciding how much you are planning to spend get locked in before just about everything else. Even if the venue you dream of can hold a ton of people, a small intimate gathering might be what you’re actually looking for. In this case, book the venue you want, but set a limit to how many you invite. (And make sure you know the venue’s guest capacity… it might not accommodate as many people as you think!)
Divide and narrow your wedding guest list by tiers
Trying to cut people from one long list can be both intimidating and uncomfortable. One way to make the process easier is to divide everyone into categories: immediate family, close relatives, extended relatives, close friends, family friends, coworkers, acquaintances, children, and so on. Then rank those categories in order of importance and start cutting from the bottom.
You might com across guests who fit into two different categories. Put those people in the highest-ranking category you feel comfortable with. Using this divide-and-cut method allows you to cut more people at once while also decreasing the risk of hurting anyone’s feelings once they realize they weren’t singled out in this process.
This is a wedding, not a social event
A wedding day is not the time for introductions—couples divide their time and need to find ways to stay present. While taking personal relationships into account, your wedding guest list should rule out any people you haven’t talked to in the last year, and anyone you don’t see yourself keeping in touch with if you don’t invite them. Remember… this is your wedding. It’s not a social event!
Allocate a percentage of invites for your parents’ friends
It seems to go against the last tip, we know. One of the hardest issues to navigate when creating the guest list is dealing with parents’ expectations. Keeping both families happy and sticking to a vision is easier said than done! But there are a few ways to handle this split, and the conversation. If you are paying for the wedding yourselves, up to 20 percent of the invites can be allocated to your parents. If your parents are helping or paying in full…
Parents Who Pay Should Get a Percentage of Invites
A fair split in this situation is 50 percent for you and your fiancé and 50 percent for your parents combined—whether that means 25 and 25 for either set of parents, or a smaller percentage for multiple sets of parents. If one parent is paying for the majority of—or the entire—wedding, they might get a larger percentage. However you decide to split it up, make sure you don’t give up more than 50 percent of the guest list. Your guests are the top priority!
Remove the “plus one” option
It seems harsh, but it is an easy way to cut your wedding guest list down. Either make plus ones exclusive for the wedding party and immediate family, or make a general “no plus ones” rule across the board.
Make it adults-only
Adults-only weddings will never go out of style, especially if budget or venue constraints mean choosing between inviting your friends and including their children. While it would be great to invite everyone’s families, it’s often not realistic. If you decide to have an adults-only wedding, make it clear in your wedding invitation and on your wedding website so there’s no confusion. If there are too many children in your circle for an adult-only wedding, consider hiring a babysitting service or designated play area for children at the venue so the kids are nearby but don’t require an extra seat.
Stagger the Invites
If all else fails and the wedding guest list still isn’t quite down to the number you need, send your invitations in waves. Break up the final list into two groups: People who must attend and people who would be missed. Send invitations to the first group 5-6 months before the wedding. As you begin to get RSVPs, send out invitations to the next group of guests in an agreed-upon order. Make sure you give the second wave of guests enough time to RSVP and make travel plans. Make sure all the invitations are sent no later than 8 weeks out from the big day. Keep track of RSVPs in a spreadsheet and adjust your asks accordingly to meet your final guest list goal.
Turning friends away from your joyous day will never be fun, but there’s no getting around it. I hope these tips helped cut through some of the noise and made those tough decisions a little bit easier. Once you’re able to narrow down the wedding guest list, pick out some gorgeous invitations… I can’t wait to photograph it all for you!
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Whether you’re native, local, or planning a Rocky Mountain destination wedding, check out this list of my top 10 Colorado Springs wedding venues. Is your vibe industrial, country club or outdoor with mountain views? No matter your taste, I’m here to give you a wide variety of jumping off points!
Pinery at the Hill
Trust me, this venue is as gorgeous as it is elegant! With views of the Colorado Springs skyline and iconic Pikes Peak, The Pinery offers affordable wedding packages and outstanding services that will leave you speechless.
Garden of the Gods Resort and Club
Garden of the Gods is a stunning natural wonder. It’s a must-see attraction for anyone who visits the city (and even a regular staple for those of who live nearby)! Enjoy a luxury experience surrounded by beautiful mountain views so your guests can enjoy the scenic background of front range mountains and red rock formations. Select all the details of your big day, including elegant dinners, special wedding packages and spa treatments. This venue makes planning a whole weekend event a breeze!
Flying W Ranch
Looking for a classic farmhouse feel? Nestled in the foothills of Pikes Peak, Flying W Ranch offers a farm-filled vibe that’s a perfect fit with the natural beauty of its towering red rocks. Plus, you’ll be in great hands! The Flying W Ranch grounds have provided guests with a wide variety of memorable spots for weddings, rehearsal luncheons, bridal showers and wedding parties for more than 60 years.
Clay Venue
Industrial charm meets urban chic at CLAY! The white walls, exposed stone and cement floors are a creative couple’s dream. It’s a perfect blank-slate, just waiting for you to make each space come to life. Fill the rooms at CLAY with your own unique color, and let your personality shine!
The Broadmoor
A venue well known in the community as a pinnacle of luxury and elegance, the historic Broadmoor hotel is the place to say “I do!” Plan your wedding weekend around activities like fly-fishing, golfing, spa days and tasty cuisine. Bonus: Check out this article for more tips and information on how to plan a luxurious wedding weekend at The Broadmoor!
The Venue at Crooked Willow Farms
If you’re looking for a quiet and elegant feel, The Venue at Crooked Willow Farms is the perfect place for your big day. Located in stunning Larkspur, Colorado, the scenic grounds are situated just 35 minutes north of Colorado Springs and south of Denver, making it the perfect spot for any couple with family and friends flying in for the big day. (Plus the beautiful courtyard, reception hall, bonus loft space, pond and rustic barn are a wedding photographer’s dream!)
Spruce Mountain Ranch
A perfect blend of rustic elegance, Spruce Mountain Ranch is a 450-acre mountain venue, perfect for weddings and other events. The ranch features two separate properties located over a mile apart, each offering their own magnificent, hand-crafted detail and state of the art conveniences.
The Oaks at Plum Creek
The Oaks is a one-of-a-kind wedding venue nestled in the rolling hills of Castle Rock, Colorado. Boasting stunning natural surroundings with incredible views of the area’s castle-shaped butte, this setting is hard to beat! Overlooking the 18th hole of the beautiful Plum Creek Golf Course, The Oaks is a truly spectacular destination that all your guests will love.
Creekside Event Center
Are you a bride who likes options? Creekside Event Center has six unique indoor and outdoor spaces, each capable of holding up to 300 people. Are you a bride who likes a good deal? Their value-packed, all-inclusive packages (combined with their team of wedding professionals) will make your planning process fun and enjoyable from start to finish.
The Venue at Almagre
My favorite thing about the Venue at Almagre? The flexibility! Bring your perfect vision to life in this urban/industrial space that offers a chic, blank canvas full of natural light, chandeliers, and wood accent walls. Whether you’re going for a rustic ceremony or a boho feel, ALMAGRE is perfect for any couple’s unique style.
Ready to plan your Colorado Springs wedding?
Check out my ultimate wedding planning timeline, and consider an investment in photography for your big day!
